Of Swords and Sundresses
by Anna Sparrow
Summary: A severe case of boredom affects the Strawhat Pirates.... Luffy, Sanji and Zoro play dressup with Nami's clothes! Oneshot.


Disclaimer #1: If I _owned_ One Piece, I wouldn't have to put this damned disclaimer in here, now would I?

Disclaimer #2: I did not write this on my own-I just won the battle over who would post it! Thanks for the assistance, Emma-chan! (a.k.a. Emma C.)

Disclimer #3: I know there is slight OOCness. Don't get mad at me! (And I don't really think the guys would fit in Nami's clothes...it was just a really funny idea we got from crossdressing Polly Pocket dolls...)

Disclaimer #4: BEWARE THE RANDOMNESS. Emma and I were stuck inside on a rainy day….. a VERY rainy day…..

Anna-chan

…**_.Random page break where the story starts b/c my computer is being a pain in the…._**

**Of Swords and Sundresses**

Like every other story, this starts off on a bright, sunny day...no wait.

It was raining.

Hard.

Really hard.

Really, really hard.

So hard in fact, that it kept even Monkey D. Luffy inside.

"I'm bored..." Luffy said for the billionth time in what seemed like ten painful hours... but really it was only five minutes.

"WE KNOW!" It was the first time in a long time where Zoro and Sanji actually agreed on something... but the fact that Luffy was driving them both mad was a common thought.

"I'm bored..."he repeated again. Sanji gripped the wooden spoon tightly, attempting to not hit him over the head like his mother had done.

"Just go entertain yourself!" Zoro sighed.

"But I'm--" Luffy suddenly cut out, due to the fact that Zoro had unsheathed one of his three swords and was looking murderously towards his throat.

"Say it again, and I will slowly cut you apart into tiny pieces, starting with the most important parts first!" Zoro paused, thinking it would not be a good idea to cut his captain apart. "Or I'll dress you in drag and make you parade around on deck every time another ship passes by."

Sanji suddenly perked up. "That gives me an idea! Thanks crap-swordsman!" he smiled at his two companions.

"But Sanji I'm--" Luffy started again, but stopped when Zoro cleared his throat.

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"Ooooooooooooh! I like this one!" Sanji squealed, picking up a purple tube top from the floor of Nami's over filled closet.

"You guys are fucking perverted," Zoro said in a slightly grossed out voice.

"But is so shiiiiny!" Luffy cooed, spinning around in one of Nami's evening gowns.

"Yeah! And you're the one who's watching us! Who's perverted now?" Sanji sneered, his hands pushing a large wad of tissue down the shirt front.

"I'm just making sure you two don't...break anything," Zoro lied, turning away and clearing his throat so that the other men could not see his flushed cheeks.

"Like what? one of these?" Luffy pulled a black lacey bra out of a dresser drawer.

Zoro's eyes practically popped out of his head at the mental image he received.

"WOOOOOOOOOOW!" Sanji cried out. His saucer sized eyes tearing slightly at the sight... he snatched the bra (knowing full well that Nami would kill him if she ever found out) and placed it to his tissue paper chest. "Nami-san's got great taste in lingerie!" _(A/N No, I don't know how to spell it, but spell check didn't seem to be telling me the right way either. So I decided on this. Women's undergarments, in case you don't know….--)_

"Luffy look away," Zoro ordered, still staring blankly at the cook.

"You know you want some, Zoro!" Sanji sneered.

"As much as you want to get in her pants!" Zoro snapped back at him.

"Oh, but Zoro! I AM in her pants!" Sanji smiled, gesturing at the insanely tight leather hip huggers he was wearing.

Zoro hung his head. "That is soooo wrong."

"But don't you want to join us, Zoro?" Luffy asked innocently. The swordsman couldn't even look up. He was too ashamed of the two of them.

"No... I definitely don't," he half-heartedly replied.

"You know you do!" They both chimed.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"SHIIIINNNY!"

Zoro and Sanji both stopped in mid-sentence. Slowly, they turned towards Luffy, who was gleefully spinning around the room in Nami's favorite pink ball gown.

This gave Sanji an idea. A very good idea... in fact, avery INGENIOUS idea!

He slowly stepped back, grabbing a pink sundress. He slipped his arms into it, preparing to strike.

"HEY ZORO!" he yelled, getting the swordsman's attention.

Zoro turned to face the cook, but he soon found himself with the dress over his head, being pulled down to his knees.

"Zoro's playing dress up with us!" Luffy sang, skipping around the room in the evening gown.

Sanji joined his captain, and Zoro just stood, his arms pinned down at his sides. Fuming, he tried to wriggle free from his bonds, but to no avail.

"Zoro! Dance with us! We're being pretty like Nami-san!" Luffy shouted.

"Hell no!"

"You look sooooo pretty Zoro-chan!" Sanji giggled, mocking Nami's laugh.

Zoro didn't have time to throw any smart remarks back at him, instead he found himself being pulled into the circle with Sanji and Luffy.

"Ring around the rosie! Pockets full of posies!" Luffy sang.

The door flew open behind them.

"WHAT IN HELL'S NAME IS GOING ON IN HERE?"

Three heads turned towards the entryway. Nami stood there, her face a mixture of embarrassment and rage. Usopp peeked his head around the corner.

"SANJI! LUFFY! **ZORO?**" Nami shouted, noticing the clothes strewn all over the room and on the boys.

"N...N...Nami-san!" Sanji gasped out.

"Hey! Do you wanna play dress up too?" Luffy handed Nami a black and orange swimsuit. "Please Nami! It's sooo fun... That thing that Sanji's wearing the

br-bre-bra it's sooooo big and comfy!"

Nami's face got, if possibly possible, even redder.

"I wanna play!" Usopp yelled, grabbing the bathing suit from his captain. "Got any more of those?" he asked, pointing to the thong over Luffy's pants.

"Yeah! There are some really cool ones in here." The two headed over to the drawer as Nami stared blindly at the two.

"I'm just going to go into the galley and pretend this isn't happening..." She hissed quickly, turning out the door. Nami mentally cursed herself the whole way down the hall for buying every bit of clothing the boys were now helping themselves to.

Zoro and Sanji simply stood in Nami's room.

"Well, I think that went well, don't you?" Sanji whispered, breathing in some much needed fresh oxygen.

"She's going to kill us..." Zoro sneered, pulling the dress off as Sanji turned his back.

Zoro quickly picked up a pair of shorts, holding it up to himself and looking in Nami's mirror.

"Don't worry Zoro," Sanji said, noticing the swordsman. "They should fit you just fine!"

Zoro smiled, this game was more fun than he gave it credit for!

**Fin!**

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HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! Well, what'd y'all think? Oh the RANDOMNESS!

Please R&R!

Anna-chan and Emma-chan


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